When you think of gay, the first thing you're likely to think of is girly, flamboyant men. When you think of lesbian you think of either the ugly butch woman with a deep voice or two sexy slim girls making out to the pleasure of the guys around them. When you think of bisexual you're likely to think of slut. When you think of transvestite you're likely to think of prostitutes for scandalous politicians. But where do these thoughts come from? Do you personally know trans prostitutes? Or slutty bis, hideous butch lesbians, porny lesbians, or girly gay men? I think it's safe to say that by far the majority of people don't, and yet they still have these images in their heads of what each word means. And the best place to form images is on a television screen.
Having an LGBT character on the show has become a common plotline on television lately. But is the inclusion really a sign of acceptance? Or is the entertainment industry simply furthering the discrimination by airing stereotypes and misconceptions for all to see?
If you've seen the show Sex and the City, you've probably heard of the gay best friend. Hell, you've probably wanted a gay best friend. What sensible woman wouldn't want a guy who can explain the stupidities of men, who can buy you junk food and not judge when you binge, who can be your personal fashionable shopper, who can be there to hold your hand when you cry, who can make you feel like an empowered woman with all their "You go girl!"'s. Now let me tell you something which may break your heart: gay men are gay, not a 'That Was Easy' button. They will not solve all your problems, they will not be your friend if all you do is complain, and they will not automatically love you because you are a dramatic girl and they are gay. Just like straight men, whether they like you or not is based on how your personalities click. And just like straight men, they don't all act feminine, don't all know the intricacies of relationships, don't all like shopping, petty gossip, girl power, emotional outbursts, and more. Gay men are not inherently more sensitive because they are gay; they are most likely more sensitive because of the hardships that they themselves have had to go through. But if you've never met an out gay person, how would you know this? How many gay men on TV do you see who AREN'T the classic gay best friend?
If this isn't what all gay men are like, why are they primarily portrayed this way by the media? The truth is, LGBT people look just like anyone else-- but on TV it is often a huge plotline. To compensate for this, the media often finds ways to make the gay community as visible as a difference in skin colour, often by portraying them as very flashy, promiscuous, and overly bold-- or, as the other extreme, gay men who are stiff-lipped, no fun, and less accepting of their sexuality.
Take, for example, the popular drama Desperate Housewives. They have sweet gay couple on the lane, Bob and Lee. Lee is the "fabulous" gay one, who loves shopping and gossiping, and apparently only hanging out with girls. He wears silly hawaiian shirts and is prone to illogical emotional fits during which his partner Bob must step in and calm him down. Bob is the well-dressed, well-spoken gay man. He is the breadwinner of the two. He is respectable and logical and not flamboyant at all, and as the less fun one he is almost never shown as having a friendship with anyone on the lane, male or female. In other words, he is the "straight" gay man, the not really gay man, and therefore portrayed as more successful and reasonable, all the while being a boring workaholic.
But wait, you say, this is a TV show about the heavy-set gender roles in suburbia. It is only natural that one of the two is the financial support while the other takes the role of a housewife. Well, that is absolutely right. And it's not like this is a show where all the housewives are shown to do more work and often be far more intelligent, reasonable and successful than their husbands, is it. But yet what do we see Lee doing except messing up every time he tries to work?
Well now, maybe this is just coincidence. Maybe this duo is uniquely stereotyped in such a way. It's probably just for the sake of soap opera drama, right?
We've all heard of the comedy show Will & Grace. On it is an incredibly flamboyant gay man named Jack, who never has any success in holding a job. Meanwhile his gay counterpart is Will, who clearly acts far more "straight"; he also just so happens to be the logical, wealthy and disciplined lawyer. It almost seems as though TV is implying that the straighter you act the more acceptable and appropriate you are deemed by society. But don't take my word for it; just google gay men acting straight and see what's going on in current events, ranging from entire threads hating on gays who try to "act straight" by doing things like watching sports and being manly to a gay student being advised by a university to "act more straight" after he was beaten up for being gay. Not only that, but Will & Grace continually implies that gay men are out to break a woman's heart. They use them as tools to hide their gayness, to question their sexuality, and to vent their inner dissatisfaction, all without any regard towards the emotional consequences of it with the woman their dating, who always seems entirely clueless and willing to be used. This is a pretty terrible thing to say about not only gay men but also women, and, in the end, bisexuals. It implies that non-heterosexual men who try and date women will inevitably ruin the relationship, all because they didn't believe they were truly gay. Even some of the most out-there liberal shows often have problems when it comes to moving outside the bounds of our monosexist society.
And when you think about it, how often does a character discover they're bi? If anything, they either realize they were straight and just having a meltdown of some sort, or that they've been gay all along. On Grey's Anatomy, the woman who was completely head-over-heels in love with a man for four seasons suddenly turned out to be completely unattracted to men in any way whatsoever, despite later sleeping with one and having his baby. On Desperate Housewives, a man who has been married for a decade to a woman and is currently dating another woman must be gay because he also likes boys. On Friends, the woman married to the lovable character Ross, who has his child, who constantly comes back to see how he is, is quite definitely a lesbian because she also happens to have fallen in love with one woman in her life ever.
As painful as it is, when you think about it, why should these characters dump their superiority complex? What evidence is there to the contrary? It almost seems like the news is entirely dominated by porn stars coming out as bi and popular celebrities coming out and then deciding they were "just confused" (i.e. David Bowie). Up until these past few years, how many strong out and proud bisexuals have been exposed through the media to people looking to learn? What bisexual character has been created on television who is not completely self-destructive (i.e. Thirteen from House, who is a good character but not about bi pride)? There are certainly people out there who are bisexual-- they just keep relatively quiet about it, or are kept quiet. For example- Marlon Brando, Calvin Klein, Edith Piaf, Lou Reed, Annie DeFranco, Peggy Guggenheim, Hans Christian Anderson, D. H. Laurence, Katharine Hepburn, Margaret Mead, Virginia Wolf, Evan Rachel Wood, Sandra Bernhardt, and many, many more (tune in later for the full LGBT celebrity list!).
Unfortunately, it is not just bisexuals who are stigmatized by the media. If they are shown at all, transgendered characters are hardly ever seen in positions of power. There is never a transgendered police officer or a transgendered CEO. Instead, there are transgendered prostitutes, crack addicts, or some other type of very weak and easily abused character. Often they aren't even out of the closet and accepting of themselves, and are forcibly discovered. Again, The L Word shows its astounding amount of ignorance as their only transgendered character is used by men and women, and then realizes that they are far too weak to raise their own kid and literally gets on their knees begging the more confident and respectable lesbians to raise it for them. In my own experiences, transgendered people are the strongest and most determined people I have ever met; but don't take my word for it. Check out the latest news on transgender protests against homophobia. It is incredibly astounding and uplifting.
An alternate to the weak transgender is the overly bold one who tries to seduce and trick straight men into having sex with them. This perhaps further perpetuates the stereotype that gay men always come on very strong to straight men and try and "convert" them. They always are very flamboyant, sexual, and oddly cheerful and shallow despite the incredibly hardships they constantly experience, which, of course, are never mentioned.
In the end it is true that there is an LGBT subculture; but the subculture is not the definition of being LGBT, though the TV industry would have you believe otherwise. The real question is, does watching these shows perpetuate hate, or is it our hate reflecting onto the media? And how, when, where will we end this vicious cycle of seeing and believing?
